Well it is about time I wrote a new blog entry and especially FOR THEE FIRST FOR 2009!!!


I would like to spill out the current news of the past year and how this year is the best one of my life. Before I get to that I would like to inform you of this past events. Last year around this time I was dating Anthony, and soon he came to Grand Forks...after a few months it didn't turn out so well; due to a few factors. He cheated on me because I wouldn't sleep with him. I was rather unhappy with him because of all the bad things happening. All he cared about was drinking and getting stoned. I moved on. During the summer I had my cousin Danny by my side and everything was starting to look up; sad as I may was, I let it all go because you only live life once, why dwell in the past? In July I got asked out by this younger kid named Brett, I didn't really think anything of it because I thought it was a joke. Brett continued to ask me out, I told him all the reasons why he shouldnt want to date me, but he insisted. I admit my first impression of him wasn't good, but he was misunderstood. Finally I said yes because he had his friend Kaylyn ask me why I wasn't dating him, and kept nagging me until I said yes.


So after a week of Brett bothering me I gave in. Brett and I spent time in Rugby (Where he lived and my auntie Barb) while I was visiting my cousin Nikki. I admit he was a sweetheart, he called me everyday, spent time with me after work, when we hung out he'd hold me as we walked around the town. I never felt that much physical love in my life. He was loveable. As the beginning months passed I was in love and so was he. At the end of October I found out Brett telling this girl he wanted to go see her in her hometown plus he didnt have a girlfriend. Also this little girl wanted to sleep with him! I confronted Brett with what I found out. I was mad as hell. I told him if he wants to run with those sluts and cheat then get the fuck a going!!! I also told him either you want a girl who is loyal to be there for you or those heartless girls who would hurt you!!!


November came, He became distant. He blamed me for the fight that made us distant with one another. Truth is if he never was disloyal then that fight would have never happened! He dumped me because I wasn't good enough for him. My looks, and body didn't help his popularity so the fight was just an excuse for him to let me go. He even admitted I never hurt him or did anything wrong! It was because I wasn't good enough. Before he could say he wanted to be friends. I stopped him and said, "No we can't be friends. I told you if you wronged me in anyway such as this I would cut you out of my life completely. You made your choice. You are breaking up with me because your friends don't like the fact who I am. This is good-bye." Not even a day after we broke up Brett started dating another girl. He got depressed in school because he finally realized what he lost. Every night after we broke up he tried calling me leaving voicemails telling me he was sorry for everything. My cousins, Nikki and Miranda went to Dairyqueen (where he works) asked him how I was doing. He told them we werent dating no more. Then said it was nothing but a mistake,and he regretted letting me go. As he gave them their stuff he brokedown and cried. Finally Joey told me to hear him out.


When he called the next time I answered. He started talking for a minute then began crying on the phone telling me he loves me, he will change for me, and be a better person. At the time I loved him, and thought it over. He asked me out again I gave him a second chance. Shortly things returned to normal. He never changed, still the same old young, naive Brett. I found out he was dating another girl 70 miles farther away then I lived. I called her up and bitched her out! Then Brett! For a week I thought of the nicest way to break it to him that I didnt want to be with him anymore. I wasn't happy at all, and it was doing nothing but stressing me out. He told me he couldnt handle long distance relationships yet he was dating someone who lived farther away from him than me!! We argued! In the end of it all he was out of my life, and I havent spoken to him since that night. I wasnt sad, or heartbroken; I was more relieved than anything.


Finally life finally gave me a break, and sent me the one who always had my heart since the night I met him. For two years since our previous relationship which was settled over being mutual...a relationship that we both believed would have without a doubt worked out to the end began again December 7th, 2008. This time I am not letting him go EVER. I blame my self for him getting hurt by his previous relationships because If I would have listened to my heart more closely I would have protected him from all that pain he went through. Only comfort I have is reminding my self "Everything happens for a reason." Still all of that could have been prevented. I always knew I never could love anyone as much as I love him even my first love Anthony didnt compare to how I felt about him. The night we met...the intensity...like two lonely souls finding its match within each other...an image made in one another. No man will ever reach that level of love I feel for him. He completes me...He fills in the voids within my soul as I do his. I am so lucky to have been blessed with him being in my life. For once since my father's passing I am truly 100% happy!!! He is my Fallen Angel...My Edward and I am his Bella <3.


It is up to him to reveal his Identity by leaving a comment otherwise you may never know who I love with every aspect of my being. He is earning my full trust, and within moments he may have it all as he pleases. He already earned a place in my heart when we were both 15 years old. I will end this entry with our saying made my love himself.


×òî, ÷åðò âîçüìè, - âàøè ïðîáëåìû


I Love You My Dearest Saroquel <3